ministry reflections: teamness

Sometimes what I miss most about Hillcrest is the sense of play.
Being in a medium to large(ish) church affords the opportunity for multiple members of a youth ministry team and interns. A community of leaders, a place to be a part of, peers along with you on the journey. Being in a smaller church affords increased opportunities for responsibility, leadership and visioning. I do more than youth ministry, I am stretched and growing in ways I didn't imagine I would be those hot, humid summers at Hillcrest.

Some days, many days, I am so thankful and blessed by my ministry here at FCC. Thankful to be a part of something bigger than myself on the East Side...awed and wonderfulled by everything. Some days, though...I miss the play, the fun, the camaraderie of the team. Some days, like today, I am lonely in my office all by myself. Not a loneliness that more ministry time with kids or popped by conversations in the offices of my coworkers can really staunch.

Had I never had that, would I still have come here? Had I never had that, that whetting of that relational side of teamness, would I be ministering to youth? I can't say. I can't say, "I wish I had known then that it would be lonely in this way..." I can't say and I don't know.

What I do know is that the teamness of my past has shaped me to be the person I am today. That difficulties such as this are nothing to complain about in ministry. I know that these feelings of loneliness come in stages. And all I can do is work hard, pray and love. That two options are before me -- grow the youth ministry to a size where I am forced to hire on more staff or eventually I will move on from this position. Not move on because of this factor, but the likelihood of staying at this place FOREVER and EVER is crazy. These days where I miss people my age and people passionate about the same subset of ministry as me are days to get through. Tomorrow brings miracles and dreams of it's own.